There are myriad theories going around about what killed Michael Jackson. Was it stress, fame, drug abuse, or self-hatred? A former Rabbi friend said that Michael loathed who he was, and that he had wound in his soul that he tried to treat as a malady in his body. He was constantly taking pain killers to try and mask the pain that he was suffering with.

Could it be that the deepest pain inside of him came not from his body, but through a wound in his heart? Could it be that the audience that Michael most wanted to give him approval was from a dad who drove his sons to fame but was ill equipped to give Michael what he wanted and needed most? In a recent interview Michael shared some of that pain.

I have meet countless men and women who are still waiting for their dads to affirm them and tell them that they love them. You would think in a culture like ours, those words wouldn’t be so hard to come by. But that is not the case.

Haven’t we all been there before, desperate to get our father’s attention? Did Michael’s self-loathing drive him to change his appearance so that he could be somebody that could be loved? Could it be that that the wound inside of Michael drove him to undergo hundreds of surgeries to make himself acceptable?

It is not surprising to me that many of the later pictures of Michael had him wearing a mask to hide himself. Was he saying to the world, Does anybody see me? Did he feel invisible? How many of us dads have missed those moments when our sons were saying, “Daddy, do you see me? Do I have what it take?” Or our little daughters were asking, “Daddy, am I beautiful?”

I didn’t get that for years as a father. I never knew how important I was a audience in my kids life. To be present, affirming and loving. Do you know why it is so hard for us guys to get that? If we never received it from our dads, it is almost impossible to give away what was never given to us. That truth has taken me years to understand!

Did Michael feel invisible to his father? Did that wound compel him to recreate his childhood at the Neverland Ranch and try and rediscover a childhood lost? Did that pain keep him stuck at countless rehersal, trying to make it perfect?

I have coached hundreds of fathers who were much like Joe Jackson, never equipped to give their sons what they needed most. Here is a truth: It is almost impossible for fathers to give love to their kids if their fathers didn’t give it to them.

What Wives know
I have met countless wives who have watched their husbands live less than they know they are capable of. Recently one wrote me and said that her heart breaks because her husband is still stuck acting like a boy because his father didn’t know how to bless and love him.

The sudden death of Michael Jackson breaks my heart because I know there are millions of children going to bed tonight in our country without the love and blessing of their fathers in their lives. What’s in us that compels us to sometimes go to the extreme to get our dad to notice us whenever we feel hidden or disconnected?

I believe God made us that way. He made us with a longing to be adored. He gave us a yearning to be loved. He made us want to be seen and appreciated. And He made us for His pleasure (His Smile).

So what is our hope if we didn’t have a dad who knew ow to love us in the way were designed?

We need a new father. We someone to leads us to a way that we can be healed from the aches of what we never received. I know of only one place and person: His name is Jesus, and not only does He want to set us free from the mistakes and sins in our lives, He also wants to give us a new Dad, our Heavenly Father.

To learn more, visit Ed’s website at www.PowerOfTheBlessing.com